ajlafleche
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Member since: March 2013
Posts: 127 
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Post by ajlafleche on Oct 28, 2013 12:24:34 GMT -5
1. It started raining in Europe on 1 September 1939. When it wasn’t raining, it was snowing. The sun finally reappeared in May 1945.
2. Paint fell off vehicles as soon as it was applied. What didn’t fall off at the factory, wore off as soon as it was touched, except for the paint in inaccessible areas that wore off for no particular reason.
3. Rust never sleeps. All ground vehicles turned rusty as soon as it rained and/or the paint wore off. (See #1 and #2).
4. There were approximately 612,000,000,000 Germans in the military. Every one of these has been molded in plastic, resin, or metal at least once.
5. The allied ground forces included 27 men. 11 Brits who alternated between the Desert Rats and the Red Devils, 12 Americans, evenly divided among the First Infantry and the 82nd and 101st Airborne Divisions, Sir Bernard Law Montgomery, Ike, Patton and MacArthur. The Japanese military consisted of 5 guys, a pilot, an officer armed only with a sword and 3 guys who ran behind him.
6. When 2 or more Germans met, or even faced each other, at least one automatically began pointing randomly.
7. The Germans had no sense of direction. When confronted with ay intersection, they instantly evacuated their vehicles and began pointing randomly. (See # 6)
8. German tanks and other armored vehicles invariably drove around by themselves. (See #7)
9. The Germans developed 212,413 different types of armored and soft skinned vehicles, and repurposed about a thousand other types of captured vehicles. Every one of these is available from at least three model companies.
10. The allies developed four workable tanks. Only two of these have seen light of day in plastic.
11. The greatest hero of the war was Michael Wittman. To wit, everything he ever sat in has been produced in plastic, including the outhouse he used at the Kaiser’s Kamp fur Kinder.
12. Tanks engaged each other at distances of as much as 30 feet.
13. The most effective camouflage for a tank was to apply bags, boxes, ammunition, including uncrated shells, and clothing o every horizontal or vertical surface.
14. Tankers were trained to leave their side arms on the piles of stuff they accumulated and threw on the tank. (See #13)
15. Every European house had a main floor capable of supporting a 50 ton tank.
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Post by dupes on Oct 28, 2013 13:09:18 GMT -5
Haaaaaahahahhaaa...when you put it that way, some of that stuff does seem a bit silly!
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Deleted
Member since: January 1970
Posts: 0
Nov 27, 2024 11:45:02 GMT -5
Nov 27, 2024 11:45:02 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Oct 28, 2013 13:43:24 GMT -5
Good points . I need to make more European mud ............  |
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Post by TRM on Oct 28, 2013 13:57:00 GMT -5
LOL....Nicely played Al!!  |
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Post by robbo on Oct 28, 2013 14:06:19 GMT -5
Fair play sir  |
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Post by dupes on Oct 28, 2013 15:40:16 GMT -5
Al - I promise the next time I get to talk to you in person I'll point randomly at something off in the distance. Heh. |
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ajlafleche
Full Member
Member since: March 2013
Posts: 127
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Post by ajlafleche on Oct 28, 2013 18:46:30 GMT -5
Al - I promise the next time I get to talk to you in person I'll point randomly at something off in the distance. Heh. Plan on it for Baycon. The Special Forces Dumvee will debut there unless disaster strikes. |
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Post by dupes on Oct 28, 2013 19:27:03 GMT -5
Excellent! Can't wait to see the Dumvee. 6 days it is!
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wetsellery
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Member since: June 2013
Posts: 130
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Post by wetsellery on Oct 29, 2013 18:01:11 GMT -5
Very funny.
I believe that the list was longer, read it somewhere but can't remember where.
There's more like this one :
A US soldier never ever cleaned or washed his uniform.
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Deleted
Member since: January 1970
Posts: 0
Nov 27, 2024 11:45:02 GMT -5
Nov 27, 2024 11:45:02 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Oct 29, 2013 18:11:29 GMT -5
Contact areas of tracks are NEVER shiny....?
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Post by Tobi on Oct 30, 2013 2:23:26 GMT -5
Funny points!
Good to know I'm not the only one who has strange/mixed feelings about this.
From what you get on model shows, flaking paint btw seemed to be a problem only on Wehrmacht tanks. But when I think of how rigorous even slightest misbehaviour was punished in the 3rd Reich, most of the tank crews belonging to these models and letting their tank deteriorate like that would have been shot by an execution squad! We aim to please...
Also I did never get why any tank crew should want to drive around with a badly tensioned track, as this is suicide in muddy ground. The observation devices on tanks are often obstructed with stuff, same is true for air intakes and coolers for the engine. You can't operate like that, in the worst case you're damaging your own tank.
Visiting less than ten model shows in my life, it was enough to see more Tiger B's, Jagtiger and Sturmtiger models than have ever been put to service!
Maybe this is because perceived 80% of all the modelers are armor related, and out of these again 80% claim to be exclusively from the German faction, for whatever reasons. The coolness factor shrinks when you think of the horror and the crimes. Being German, I taught myself here a clinical distant, purely technical sight on the equipment. Not sure if all do the same, at least I hope so.
Cheers,
Tobi
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Post by wouter on Oct 30, 2013 4:27:45 GMT -5
It's not too hard to get why German armor has been modelled more than the rest. Possably because there's a lot of myth around them. Also, there were some crazy and - to say the least - megalomaniac designs amongst them. In the later stages of the war German effort was especially made to create thicker armor since they couldn't afford to loose to many tank crews anymore. Of course, that would stress engines and drive trains so much that they became uneffective. Hitlers mood changes and opinions about designs didn'n really help as well of course. I went on a Ardennes road trip last year with my brother in law and having seen a Tiger II, some Panthers and a couple of Shermans in the flesh, I know in which one I want to be when in a head on battle. Anywhoo, that's my two cents on it Nice list btw  Cheers |
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Post by Tobi on Oct 30, 2013 5:56:19 GMT -5
Myth, yes, I understand. But myth is a double-edged sword, as it also shows in a frightening manner how effective the German propaganda machine did work!
Personally I like the distinctive shapes and myriads of camo schemes, but diving into technical details is, though still interesting, rather sobering in most cases.
Cheers,
Tobi
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pantherf..-Email Not Valid
Full Member
Member since: July 2013
"Best Job I've Ever Had"
Posts: 1,253
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Post by pantherf..-Email Not Valid on Oct 30, 2013 6:11:54 GMT -5
I have never bought into the chipping and rusting of vehicles. Maybe scratches along side of the tank/truck or fenders torn off or mangled but the weathering is a bit extreme to me. That's why all my AFV's look like Gate Guards or factory fresh. I believe that's the way they looked for a while until they either were shot up or ran through mud. JMHO and a great eye-opening thread! Jeff |
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Post by wouter on Oct 30, 2013 10:23:51 GMT -5
Myth, yes, I understand. But myth is a double-edged sword, as it also shows in a frightening manner how effective the German propaganda machine did work! Personally I like the distinctive shapes and myriads of camo schemes, but diving into technical details is, though still interesting, rather sobering in most cases. Cheers, Tobi sure, but the winners of the war are guilty of creating myths as well. Most famous probably the one which still is believed by many: that the German army, and in particular the armoured wing was pretty much invincible at the opening stages of war. The opposite was true though. The French Char B bis was the strongest tank at that time, both in armor as well as armament. No German tank could penetrate it from a decent distance, sure not head on. The 88 bunkerknackers of course could do this. Luck played a big part, as well as tactics. But if you portray the agressor as superior, it looks even better when you eventually win the war, thus happened. Anywhoo, I totally agree with you. The shapes and camo schemes on German armor were very interesting to see indeed. For me personnaly, the JagdPanther was the summum of that. Though unluckily for the Dritte Reich, and luckily for us, it came to little too late Cheers |
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paulh.
Senior Member
Member since: November 2011
build, fail, learn, succeed - ENJOY
Posts: 2,389
Nov 15, 2011 15:54:51 GMT -5
Nov 15, 2011 15:54:51 GMT -5
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Post by paulh. on Oct 30, 2013 11:16:49 GMT -5
Love it! Great little history lesson there AJ. As for weathering etc; I recently had a bit of a chat with one of the Modeller volunteers at the Tank Museum in Bovington and commented on how all his vehicles were finished as almost factory fresh. His response was quite simply he spent so much of his service life cleaning the things down and trying to keep them clean that he can't bring himself to dirty 'em up -even in model form.  P |
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Post by tigrazor on Oct 30, 2013 16:10:19 GMT -5
6. When 2 or more Germans met, or even faced each other, at least one automatically began pointing randomly. 7. The Germans had no sense of direction. When confronted with ay intersection, they instantly evacuated their vehicles and began pointing randomly. (See # 6) 8. German tanks and other armored vehicles invariably drove around by themselves. (See #7) 9. The Germans developed 212,413 different types of armored and soft skinned vehicles, and repurposed about a thousand other types of captured vehicles. Every one of these is available from at least three model companies. Well.... I am German actually. #06: Were 80 million right now. 612.000.000.000 - 80.000.000 is 61.192.000.000, yes?! Where are they?`I have to point that out (not randomly, Sir!). Ehm I mean I have to insist!!! #07: What was I writing again? Uh, lost the leitmotif. D'OH!!! Hey, is that a German word, btw?! #08 Only when they were hit by an American grenade that hit the left wheel! Okay, German beer was maybe another cause! #09. What? So few only? Thats the official number Tommies and Yanks quote very often...! Dont forget the prototypes and those planned for 1946+... That makes 600.000 then! |
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Post by Tobi on Oct 31, 2013 0:48:19 GMT -5
Maybe under #6 it isn't exactly pointing. I mean, it's a smale scale, maybe it is that "other" thing... Wenn der Führer says, we is ze master race, we HEIL, HEIL, right in der Führer's face!  Would also explain that "Whenever two Germans met"-phenomenom... Cheers, Tobi |
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Post by tigrazor on Oct 31, 2013 4:04:50 GMT -5
Tzehehe. Post THAT in a German forum, mate - and youll be kicked out immediately plus theres the Verfassungsschutz knocking at your door. |
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Post by bullardino on Oct 31, 2013 5:32:45 GMT -5
LOL
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Post by Tobi on Oct 31, 2013 6:01:39 GMT -5
Tzehehe. Post THAT in a German forum, mate - and youll be kicked out immediately plus theres the Verfassungsschutz knocking at your door. Then I will gladly explain to the Verfassungsschutz, that this is from an Walt Disney Anti-Nazi propaganda cartoon. Highly recommended! My favorite verse from the song: Q: Is this Nazi-land not good, would you leave it if you could? A: Ja this Nazi-land is good, we would leave it if we could!!!  Now back to work, Swinehund! Cheers, Tobi |
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Post by tigrazor on Oct 31, 2013 6:39:19 GMT -5
Jawoll, Herr Unteroffizier. |
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